Concrete Giraffes/Transcript
Cast: (In order of appearance) 'Marik, Bakura, Slender Man, Terrorist, Orphans, Joey, Yugi, Mokuba '''Running Time: '''7:03 Transcript (''A caption is shown: In September of 2010, Marik and I (Bakura) were trying to film a movie based on his script "Concrete Giraffes". Unfortunately, production kept being held up by his odd behavior and awkward filming conditions. Cuts to a car driving down a street with another caption over it: Since filming stopped, I asked Marik what he wanted to do with the footage. Fades to black with another caption: "Burn it. Burn it all." "Burn it to a CD." "That way we can sell the CD to people and make a profit!" Having reviewed the footage, I noticed some very strange and disturbing things. I decided the best thing to do with the footage was put it on some random YouTube channel and hope people notice it. Cuts to Marik and Bakura filming.) 'MARIK: '''Okay, action! '''BAKURA: '(off screen) Marik. 'MARIK: '''What? '''BAKURA: '(off screen) You already said action. (Cuts to him with camera.) 'BAKURA: '''That's why I started filming. '''MARIK: '''Cut! Bakura! '''BAKURA: '''What? '''MARIK: '''You made me break character. '''BAKURA: '(groans) 'MARIK: '''Now I have to go back and start the scene all over again. '''BAKURA: '''You didn't even start the scene yet, you just said action...twice. '''MARIK: '''Action! (''pauses) ''Are you rolling? '''BAKURA: '''Yes. '''MARIK: '''Cut! Bakura! '''BAKURA: '''What? '''MARIK: '''The cameraman must remain silent at all times. '''BAKURA: '''But you asked me a question! '''MARIK: '''I asked you a question in ''character, therefore you must respond in character. 'BAKURA: '''Well, what the bloody hell ''is ''my character? '''MARIK: '''Um...gay elephant...called...Jonathan. '''BAKURA: '''No, that is not my char- '''MARIK: '''John for short. '''BAKURA: '''Look, I'm filming all of this. You do realize that we only have a limited amount of tape. '''MARIK: '''Oh, right, of course. Action! (''pauses) ''Are you rolling, Jonathan? '''BAKURA: '''Um...gay elephant noise? '''MARIK: '''Perfect! Okay, now I- '''SLENDER MAN: '(''distorted; talks like this throughout the video)'' Hey, guys. Hey, guys! 'MARIK: '''What the-who the frig is that?! '''BAKURA: '''Just ignore him. '''SLENDER MAN: '''Hey, guys, can I be in your movie, too? '''BAKURA: '''Oh, piss off! '''SLENDER MAN: '''Aw, come on, guys, I just wanna be in your movie. '''MARIK: '''Is he a homeless guy? '''BAKURA: '''No, Marik. '''MARIK: '''Hey, get a friggin' job! '''BAKURA: '''Let's just move on to the next scene, shall we? '''MARIK: '''Okay, let me go get my bathing suit. '''BAKURA: '''Why do you need a bathing suit? '''MARIK: '''Did you even read the script? '''BAKURA: '''I...may have skimmed...just a tad. '''MARIK: '''I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my project. '''SLENDER MAN: '''Hey, guys! Hey, guys! '''MARIK: '''What?! What is it, strange, tall man without a face?! '''SLENDER MAN: '''I would like to be in the movie. Could I be in the movie? '''MARIK: '''Do you even know what we're filming? '''SLENDER MAN: '''A movie. '''MARIK: '''Not just any movie, this is my magnum opus! This is going to make ''Citizen Kane look like Citizen Lame! 'SLENDER MAN: '''I never saw that one. '''MARIK: '''Yeah, me either. Apparently, it's a big deal. '''BAKURA: '''Marik, could we please get back to filming? '''MARIK: '''Yes, of course. Action! '''BAKURA: '''Um, Marik, that man is in the shot. '''MARIK: '''Eh, it's fine, we'll just edit him out in post. '''BAKURA: '''Do you even know what those words mean?! '''MARIK: '''I am the director! I do not have to understand what I'm saying, I merely have to say it! Action! '''SLENDER MAN: '''What is my motivation? '''BAKURA: '(groans) ''To get out of the bloody shot. '''MARIK: '''Eh, maybe we could put him in the movie, Bakura. After all, the camera seems to love him. '''SLENDER MAN: '''Hey, Bakura, how's it going? '''MARIK: '''Wait, wait, you two know each other? '''BAKURA: '''Unfortunately. '''SLENDER MAN: '''We were college roommates. '''BAKURA: '''Yes, we used to get crunk and pick up chicks as the saying goes. (''Cuts to Bakura and Slender Man partying with a chick with hip hop music playing in the background.) 'MARIK: '''Wow, I bet you guys have some crazy stories. '''SLENDER MAN: '''Oho, do we ever! (''silence) 'MARIK: '''So, what happened? '''SLENDER MAN: '''Bakura tells it better than I do. '''MARIK: '''Bakura? '''BAKURA: '''I'm afraid I don't really remember most of it...eh, any of it, actually...strange. '''MARIK: '''So, what's with the suit, anyway? Did you just go to a funeral or something? '''SLENDER MAN: '''My other clothes are in the wash. '''BAKURA: '''Marik, the movie? '''MARIK: '''Ah, yes. Action! '''SLENDER MAN: '''So, am I in your movie now? '''MARIK: '''I don't know, uh, Bakura, is he in the movie? '''BAKURA: '''Well, I suppose we don't really have much choice! After all, he doesn't seem to want to get out of the shot. '''MARIK: '''Well, then, I guess you're in the movie. Hey, wait a minute, there's only supposed to be one character in this movie. '''SLENDER MAN: '''What is his name? '''MARIK: '''Marik Ishtar. '''SLENDER MAN: '''I think I would like to play him. '''MARIK: '''But I am Marik Ishtar! '''SLENDER MAN: '''I think I would do a good job. '''MARIK: '''Bullcrap! You couldn't possibly play me better than I can! '''BAKURA: '''Oh, why don't we put it to the test? Both of you, say "binky boy." '''MARIK: '''What?! But I never say- '''SLENDER MAN: '''Binky Boy! '''BAKURA: '''I believe we have our new star. '''MARIK: '''No, that's not right! This is my movie! '''BAKURA: '''Well, he auditioned fair and square, Marik. '''MARIK: '(groans) ''Fine, but if he's going to play me, he's going to need a change of wardrobe. (''Transitions to Slender Man with Marik's clothes and Marik with Slender Man's clothes.) 'MARIK: '''There, now you look pretty. Man, Bakura, he's even paler than you and that's saying something. '''BAKURA: '(sarcastically) 'Yes, the gleam from his midriff is positively blinding. '''SLENDER MAN: '''What is my motivation? '''MARIK: '''You're very sexy! Also, you hate the Pharaoh! '''SLENDER MAN: '''What is a Pharaoh? '''MARIK: '''It's not important, just act. '''SLENDER MAN: '''I do not think I like this script; I have issues with the dialogue. '''MARIK: '''What?! Frigg you, I wrote that thing myself! It's perfect! '''SLENDER MAN: '''It needs more explosions and dead children. '''MARIK: '''What?! '''SLENDER MAN: '''I mean Kurt Russell. '''MARIK: '''Oh, you think you can come up with something better, huh? You think you're a friggin' screenwriter? '''SLENDER MAN: '''Yes. '''MARIK: '''Okay, Mr. Lawrence effing Olivier, ''you ''write the friggin' movie! (''Cuts to a criminal holding three children hostage.) 'MAN: '''And you can tell the President that if we do not receive the money on schedule, he could say goodbye to these precious orphans. '''SLENDER MAN: '(off screen) Not so fast! (He breaks through the window.) 'MAN: '(off screen) It's you, Jack Slenderman! (on screen) The cop who does not play by the rules! 'SLENDER MAN: '''It's lights out for you, terrorist! (''Punches him and knocks him out.) 'RED ORPHAN: '''Thanks for rescuing us, Mr. Slenderman- Oh, God, no! (''The kid screams before Slender Man eats him.) 'SLENDER MAN: '''It's all in a day's work...for Jack Slenderman! (''puts on sunglasses) 'CHIEF: '''Dammit, Slenderman, I told you about eatin' them kids! '''SLENDER MAN: '''But it's what I do. '''ANNOUNCER: '''This summer...The Slender Man...is...Jack Slenderman...in...Slenderman! (''Cuts to Joey and Yugi in a movie theater.) 'JOEY: '''Geez, a Slenderman movie? I guess Hollywood really ''is ''out of ideas. '''YUGI: '''I just can't believe they actually got Kurt Russell. '''SLENDER MAN: '(to them) Excuse me, some of us are trying to hear the movie. (He picks up Mokuba next to him and eats him.) So rude. (Credits roll while hip hop music from before plays.) Category:Transcripts Category:Main series transcripts